Last night was Holy Wednesday, and the Holy Unction service. I was thinking about how we are healed by the Sacraments in body, mind, and soul, even in ways we cannot perceive, and I had a renewed gratitude for the Sacraments.
Part of the reason we suffer today is because there are no absolute truths. Somebody can say, "Well, YOU may believe x, but I believe c, and that's okay, because everybody has their own truth"--worse yet is the "intolerant" card that's played when absolute truth is spoken. I can say, "The sky is orange!" on a clear sunny day; it may be what I would like my reality to be, but that doesn't change the fact that the sky is really blue, and calling somebody "intolerant" because they don't agree with my version of reality is not proving my point or changing the actual reality. There is no "your own version of the truth", and that's part of the problem today. How can we not be confused in this world if we're not really sure what is right or wrong? Life becomes nothing but a grey area. We can live our lives doing whatever we want, regardless of the consequences, regardless of how we hurt other people in the process, regardless of how we hurt ourselves, and that's supposed to be "okay" somehow? In the face of things that are wrong, we're all supposed to be just smiling idiots, nodding, when somebody approaches us with their brand of reality, being "okay" with it, because otherwise we hurt somebody's feelings, make them feel bad/shame, or because it's politically correct to accept "another truth"???? Have we all become that egotistical that we think that whatever we want to believe supersedes truth, or that we can steamroll over anyone and everyone that gets in the way of what we want to believe? How can you live a life in nothing but grey areas without stampeding on somebody else's grey area? Maybe the whole world comes to believe that adultery "doesn't really hurt anybody" and "we should all be allowed to cheat", until somebody has an affair with your spouse, until it affects you and your family, until you are hurt. Maybe we all come to believe that lying isn't a bad thing, until someone in our lives lies all the time, and we cannot trust that person or believe one word they say.
Another part of the reason we suffer is because we make poor choices. These choices affect ourselves, but oftentimes, they affect those around us, making them suffer, too, and now those people affect other people in their lives...it's a ripple effect. We make choices that are against God. Because God loves us, He knows what is good for us and what is bad for us, like a loving parent, and so, He restricts certain things from us that can cause us suffering and pain. He restricted Adam and Eve from eating from the tree of knowledge of good and evil--not because He was "mean" (they could eat from ANY OTHER plant/tree in the garden--they had their pick!), but because they weren't ready yet for the information that came from it. Holy Tradition tells us that eventually, Adam and Eve would've been able to eat from the tree, but in God's time, much the way that an infant is only given milk to drink until its body matures enough where it can begin to take very simple first foods that are easily digestible. We may not like what God has told us is immoral or off limits, and we don't have to agree with it, but having faith means that we trust Him that He knows better than us, that He knows more than we do. He also sees things as a whole, rather than we can only see a small portion of it, as we are immersed in life--He can look at things from the beginning, middle, end, and from all sides; we are unable to. As much as we would like to be little gods ourselves, there is only one God, and that is something that people have a problem with. We don't like that, and we tell ourselves things like "God doesn't exist!" so that we can assuage our conscience. Again, we feel troubled deep down inside because we are created beings of the Creator, and it is in our very essence to feel when we are doing something against Him, or when we deny Him.
With regards to elevating ourselves to little gods, ask Adam and Eve how it worked out for them when they ate from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, trying to elevate themselves to God, trying to be like Him, to know things they were not ready to know. They were banished from a perfect place where there was no sickness, suffering, pain, necessity; a place with complete harmony with the created world...a place where they had everything provided for them, and only knew joy, and the world for them became a place with nothing but suffering, pain, necessity.
To begin to have peace in our lives and to heal, we have to trust God. Part of that trust means acceptance, too. We may not understand or agree with everything He has put forth for us, but we have faith that He knows what He's doing, and that He is working in our lives, and that we trust Him to work things out; because we have faith and trust, we can reach a level of acceptance on the things that we may not like or understand or agree with.
Getting back to Holy Unction. Thinking about these hurting people in my life...half of them were able to go to church tonight and be anointed, which I was thankful and glad about, even if they don't feel God's grace in a tangible way; we don't always feel a "special" way in our spiritual lives...the saints themselves have attested to this (they call these "dry periods", and indeed, our lives can feel very dry, but we plug onwards in faith, doing our part, and not expecting any consolation of feelings as a sort of "reward" for our efforts). Elder Ephraim of Katounakia sheds some light on why we don't always feel a joyfulness during spiritual times when we think we should:
"We never know when divine grace will visit us. A monk from my brotherhood once told me: 'Today, it was the feast of the Holy Transfiguration, still, I did not feel joy in my heart.' It doesn't matter, for you might feel joy another day during the week. Grace does not depend on the festive character of a certain day, but on God's judgment. Obviously, this is not a rule. Yet, one thing is certain: God's judgment is utterly different from human judgment.
"Someone might feel joy riding [in] a car while somebody else may feel joy on board an airplane. God's judgment varies. One of the brethren was full of joy while going to St. Anne to grind at the mill. He really felt joy while doing this. We cannot judge why God does not shed His grace over us during the Liturgy but does so on other occasions, i.e., while we do our handiwork. It depends entirely on His judgment. Nevertheless, our duty is to keep praying." (emphasis mine)
In order to heal, we need to open ourselves up to receive God (He will not come to us if we close ourselves off, because He loves us, and has given us free will to either choose Him or refuse Him), and another part of healing comes when we turn from our sinfulness (repent) AND when we begin to do whatever work is necessary in order to heal. If a doctor tells me that in order to heal from high blood sugar, I should cut out refined carbohydrates and sugars, and I decide to continue eating poorly, I'm not doing the work necessary to heal, and I shouldn't expect to heal, even if I'm taking medications--the medication will only do so much and go so far; it's unrealistic for me to expect to continue to live a reckless lifestyle, continuing in the way that got me into trouble in the first place, and expect to be healed...it's a childish mentality, in fact, quite absurd for an adult mindset.
Our Lord God and Savior Jesus Christ is the Great Physician. He heals people not just in body, but in mind and soul as well. When we read about accounts of His healing in Scripture, He said two things usually after healing people: "Your faith has made you well", and "Go and sin no more". He acknowledges that healing needs faith, and He requires repentance and a change in ourselves (i.e., effort on our part) to no longer sin. Our Church is the hospital, where we come to meet the Great Physician, and the Sacraments are our medicine necessary to heal our spiritual, bodily, and emotional infirmities. If for no other reason somebody can approach coming to church, knowing that we are ALL sick in body, mind, and/or soul, EVERYONE can benefit from what is at church--going to the Hospital to receive Medicine that the Great Physician will give us to heal. Struggling to lead a holier life in order to be worthy of receiving the heavenly medicine (Sacraments) is worthwhile. Maybe somebody originally comes into the Church in order to be healed of their infirmities and brokenness, but they can gradually come to realize that church is the place to come to meet the Creator of the Universe and to worship Him. One of the very most important things we can do in our lives is at the end of each day, review the events of the day, and find as many things as possible to be thankful about, and to give thanks to God for them--give Him "the credit". When we begin to built up "an attitude of gratitude", we find it easier to worship Him; we find more joy in our lives and begin to grumble less...our melancholy lifts. When we begin to see what we have and are grateful for it, instead of what we don't have (and being surly and resentful over it), we are more joyful and at peace, and when we can get to the point of where we realize that God has His reasons for not granting us the things we want but don't have (because He cares about us and knows we don't need it, or because it's harmful to us), we have joy and peace--it's part of having faith.
I wish everyone a blessed Pascha. My Pascha wish is for a renewal of faith, a clean wedding garment through confession and communion, joy and peace, and for us to cooperate with God in our lives, turning away from sin, in order to have peace and joy and to work out our salvation.
