Once, I saw the damage of revealing a secret through a person that had something devastating happen to them, told someone their secret, and asked that it be kept private. The person that heard the secret told someone else. I can't imagine the hurt, shame, embarrassment, and anger this person experienced over having their secret revealed, but also the feelings of betrayal, and lack of trust this created.
Witnessing that person's experience made me cautious in revealing private things about myself. Although the verse escapes me at this time (I'll list it here and edit this post when I remember it), the Bible cautions us about being too loquacious about our privacy, and rightfully so. Just about everyone can recall a time when they were burned by sharing something private, having it repeated and exposed. This is precisely why we can (and should!) recognize the deep value in keeping others' secrets/privacy.
Shortly after my friend's incident, I read in Wisdom of Sirach (also known as the book of Ecclesiasticus) (19:10):
"Have you heard something? Let it die with you. Be brave, it will not make you burst!"
I laughed at what seemed to be almost a teasing tone in that verse, but it's TRUE!!! On a more somber note was the following verse where Sirach calls the person that cannot keep a secret a fool (Sirach 19:11):
Having heard something, the fool suffers birth pangs like a woman in labor with a child.
I'm certainly no Biblical scholar, but every time the word "fool" is used in Scripture, it seems to me that it's usually referring to a person that is headed for destruction. "Fool" used Biblically doesn't seem to be just a word to mean a dumb or simple person...it's a strong rebuke...definitely an insult, and if you're called a "fool", it's definitely something you should sit up and take notice of and not ignore.
Keeping a secret can be like exercising a muscle for the first time--hard to do, but once it's done frequently, the practice of using it becomes easier and easier to work.
I wondered why some people feel the need to reveal secrets. I suppose it's because it makes them feel self-important; "in the know" perhaps--maybe they have little in their own lives to give them purpose?--but it's done at the expense of others, and there are few chances to repair such a deeply broken trust. If you feel you are going to "burst" with a secret, tread cautiously, weighing the risk. Are there many secrets you can say that are worth revealing at the expense of deeply hurting others, or causing irreparable damage to a relationship (even ending a relationship) over? Will you burst???
Many years ago, someone said this about a person we mutually knew, "That person is so trustworthy...they'll take a secret to the grave with them." That really resonated with me. It also made me confident that this person would definitely be trustworthy should I need to confide something in them. I decided when I heard this compliment given that this is the type of person I wanted to be...trustworthy.
What a special, wonderful thing to earn--somebody's trust.
